No More Sharing Tv

I am so tired of him
throwing the remote across the room
because i want to watch something

Are all guys like that

Then I throw it back at him
and he says his "throwing"
was an "accident"

this is utterly stupid.

I am going to take my money
and buy myself a TV

i am perfect

I must be crazy to think I can fall down
According to him I’m perfect

So now he isn’t gonna recognize me unless I am perfect

I guess I am perfect
Hey, you, isn't everyone perfect?

I thought so
So, I AM perfect. I knew it.

Always Finding a New Clue

Always finding a new clue
to unrest
Because, it's a cruelly life
Cruelly, I say.

Man serves his country
fights or builds and sits on
poles in enemy land next to
enemies, where spraying of
round up is being sprayed.

Later, is in two mva's and
is critically wounded, but could
have recovered if it had not been for
Dioxin.

So, now we turn to Heroin, Opiod
Epidemic
and farthingly, they think it is
super good and healthfully right
to deny those who are farthingly
rightfully in need of pain meds to alleviate pain.

Rightfully denied them, because, well, because
kids are becoming addicts.
Nothing to do with him, hey, he suffered trauma
serving his country, rightfully, because he volunteered.
Trusting his country to not spray him with dioxin, but
hey it's OK
Those politicians are looking out for our populace, not
those Vets who NO ONE WELCOMED HOME.
Yo, till now, young man turned old
We welcome you with X on opiods
X on pain relief. Hey, you get it.

YOU are getting screwed again by GOOD.

A Friend who Knows

Do i have a friend
who understands

I guess not
I have to make anew
a new circle of friends
who understand

insanity
In satiable reality

and thoughts which
wander
wander
wander

past the truth
past the firmament

you have to be there
to see it
to understand it

I think they think that
this a ruse
a parcel to attract ATTENTION

What are you smoking?

You have a kid, you have a kid
who wanders
You have a kid who falters into
unreality, unmyth, unearth

you would know it
know that this isn't them
This is brain hijack

You will know, then.

Achlys, you feed on Me

I am so sad
As sad as Achlys

My sadness drifts down like an
anchor
heavy weighted fateful fruited fraught-ed
with depth of fright

My sadness falls down and down
and bleeds hope out now not
Morpheus I think will not
have pleasant predictions in
my nite dreams.

It is as if I had a safe place that
I would inhabit for treasured
solace.
But now it has vanished, because
it wasn't real.

Now I have to look in the mirror and
i see me

Help Aphrodite

Something Good
Fitzpleasure
I thought it was good
God is good
Maybe she is good

No maybes about it
she is the best of the best
but a drool, spool vacant pool
indrains her frame core with
insane platitudes

She thinks are true
like Toby keith who lives in
Nigeria

and they fool around with her
and dabble in scrabblicous tools
that infect her habitable vaults

Why, Lord, why
I trust you.

but maybe it's my fault
I am sure it is.
I am sure I am paying attention
to my husband's ailments that i am
failing to see hers.

And she gets infected so that now
we have to pay attention and yet
it's our grandson who is suffering.

God, we are detrimental in our
tessellations

We should have been on top of this.
we should have not let her do her own bills.
not do her own therapist, who is not looking fully
at her depth of disease but thinking she is
cognizant of her own self as are her siblings

More Later

What shall I say
Shall I say I dropped an
unusual bomb being understanding
of AMERICA

Being understanding of those of our fathers
who died
who bled
who sacrificed

I know you think that I am wrong
and, I guess that would be OK
If, it were just that
but, it isn't
It's that you
are condescendingly RIGHT

Or so you think
I read today:
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ---Aristotle
You can't be Edumacated
You can't be in the classical style
Kind of like the English walking, marching in straight lines
this is like me
You are the guerillas
I am the English soldier
Being knocked down silly

More: Later

My Brain Can Float

Yep, My Brain can float like it did
when I was in the tomb
my brain can float, because
substance isn't reality
floating is

My brain can slip around the moat
it can fish wishes from the water that
isn't connected to the earth
That water moves, feeds into the universe
clouds, atmosphere, space, universe
We are all one,

But, lookout
Evil lurks

Not the Philistines, Lord

it's like we have been thru it

wondering if our child will live
if we would be the not one more parents
going down and up and back down again

Would we?

Now, for those other kids who
were straight, who did right by you

they got bit by bugs, plagues, them that
crawl on the ground and seek the pant leg
the journey up the trunk

them that devastate as much and the plague of old
but Lord, these are NOT the Philistines, please
these are them that honor you, that have the blood on
the posts outside, so that the angel of death might pass by.

These are them that are jumping of joy
grabbing on to their Daddy
bringing incense of love to you
because they honor YOU.

Are You Listening?

And how can it be
Oh Lord take me
I can afford it
maybe 69 almost 70
isn't as much as it should be
for these times but it's a lot more than 38
I've lived OK
with enough time to do some stuff

You are sovereign and I accept your Will
but let's remember the kids
four of them
you sent them

it's not ideal without a parent

Lord

are you listening?
Of course you are.

Is This Just a Bad Day?

Why does it have to be so sad
Is this just a bad day?

I am looking for silver linings

Gold covered clouds

I am so sad

Dear Lord, only you know the outcome
Dear Lord, I hope you are here
I hope you hear.

Today Again: Success isn't Easy

Today again it's the same old same old
shes not getting into college even tho my cousin said she was in his class today
it's that time again we will be withdrawing from school
...all paid for we will be driving to o hi o to regroup
was I that bad was I such an idiot that
 I didn't see the boom above my head
not realizing
balance is flipping so easily against my court?
She is 30. I had how many kids at that point?
She is 30. How many 'nother chances?
 Hey, life isn't fair, isn't all encompassing allowing for your failure
 it doesn't even care about success.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=7-8iK6XifV4

Spirits Have a Conscience

It's 3:23 AM on Fathers Day
Guilt
is that what keeps me awake

How do spirits keep
floating if they do
horrific things

I just think I didn't do enough
and I am revolving around
a tornado

You can see it
pluming, scheming, forming
going from one end of the
country to the other

Mike and Shelly

They were phenomenal
Mike and Shelly
Lovers
Caretakers of Love
As it should be
Mike and Shelly

You could tell
It was real
it's funny people knew
that love is real in
certain relationships

Mike and Shelly
They were them
REAL

I think they are
REAL

Love goes on
Mike and Shelly
like a river
Flowing

What can we think now
Without them

So does the river flow into
Eternity

I want to think it does.

When in the air I asked for
Bernie to be mine
'And then I had a letter when i
got home.

It's the wave love
that flows to set the
precedent
for Mike and Shelly
Bernie and Caroline

Made in heaven.

I Am The Queen II

Of course

If you didn't know it
Then

I shouldn't have to tell you.

You fall into lies like flies

I see you

I stand back and observe
falling, as you do for ridiculous antics

Look inside the brain after you open it.
Is there a hijacked road.

yep,
it's the weight of love.

Love of normalcy
ingratitude
ungratefulness
like of agreement

Life Begins with Air addenum

Life begins with love, passion, need.

Life begins with a meeting of sperm and egg.
It meets and forms an human being immediately

Life begins with liquid
sperm, desire, want

Life begins with God

He sends a  spark of life

He  nods a yes

We accept

Life begins with God

What is God

He is Creator


When did you think
YOU did this?

Life Begins with Air?

Life is precious
Do you know.
Life begins, when.

with air?

So, according to you
Life begins with air oxygen
force doesn't count

movement in womb
doesn't count

Life begins with air
with breath, not with fluid

So, fish have  no life

The Queen

I am so distraught

Everything is music inspired

And it wouldn’t be bad

Except

It’s trendy

TRENDY

I hate trends

I want ART

But what is wrong

There can’t be that many artists

There is a myriad of pretenders

That don’t pretend well

And that is what makes me mad

They don’t even try to act

They assume no one is paying attention

I guess they have been told so

To emote evoke and misquote

Then shall we all be entrenched by mesmerizing

Good will

Yes, we are marching on good will

That fills our hearts with shit

Tree is Defrosting in the Basement

Now our tree is in the basement, it was frozen in the bucket outside

so we had to defrost it.

I guess we will put it up tom. after I get home from work.

I did all my Christmas shopping Friday and Sat.

Ms. Directed

All I could do today was cry
I cried with branches hooked into the sky
The waves went up, then back down

Waves of angst wishing for cessation
Charred at the edges

Feelings felt for fumbled moments
ms directed intentions lacking thot

I cried all day

Fight all gone   months
years
Welling up
I looked down surprised
astonished at the height
I dared to jump
but didn't

All I could do today was cry